Who's the Daddy?
Yesterday I made the day of someone I came into contact with (and probably at the same time emtionaly scarred his daughter for life.) Picture the scene...
Setting: a child's sized table, 4 child sized chairs, a child (aged 3), her mother, a man(assumed to be child's father) and myself.
Scene opens
hils(looking at both other adults in turn): Are there any illnesses that run on either side of your families?
man (hastily): I'm not her father - I'm her grandad!
hils (also hastily, apologetically, trying to minimise any further damage): Oh! Grandparents are getting younger and younger these days!
Meanwhile mother sits looking somewhat bemused and grand-daughter is sweetly oblivious to the blundering health care professional. The rest of the encounter proceeds without incident.
End of scene
About two years ago I had an opposite and therefore more embarrassing experience. All newborn babies are examined within 48 hours of birth to check for any obvious problems including (for those of you who are interested) heart murmurs, cataracts and whether they have 10 fingers (or 8 fingers, 2 thunbs for the purists!) and 10 toes. I like to think that this is a good bonding session for the new parents and the baby so I normally ask extraneous relatives and friends to wait outside.
On this particular occasion those present in the room were the new mother (clues - female(!), lying on the bed and looking tired) who looked as if she was in her late teens, a female grandparent (clues - doing the fussing-around-the-new-mother routine and looking grandmother-ish) and a man whose relation to the situation I was not at all sure of. Available clues - he had grey hair, looked old enough to be the new mother's father but not very old. On the other hand he was standing next to the bed in the place usually occupied by 'proud new father.'
I had a decision to make. I started off in the usual way -introducing myself, explaining why I was there, asking after mother, commenting on cuteness of new baby and mumbled to the man something to the effect of, "You must be very proud of you grandson." When I say mumbled I mean only the syllable 'grand.' The rest of the sentence was very clear. I then asked grandmother and 'assumed grandfather' to leave and said I would call them back from the waiting room when I had finished.
During the baby check as the baby's mother and I were chatting she mentioning her partner and casually waved her arm towards the door through which, I suddenly realised, he had just left! I decided to stay quiet in the hope that my sentence had been heard as, "You must be very proud of your .... son" He probably still wonders to this day why he was not allowed to stay and probably has put it down a very old fashioned baby-checker ( which is not too far from the truth!)
In the course of reliving this somewhat painful memory I have been wondering whether I should just have asked the man, "And you are...?" but that would possibly have been equally awkward.
...the pitfalls of the job!
Setting: a child's sized table, 4 child sized chairs, a child (aged 3), her mother, a man(assumed to be child's father) and myself.
Scene opens
hils(looking at both other adults in turn): Are there any illnesses that run on either side of your families?
man (hastily): I'm not her father - I'm her grandad!
hils (also hastily, apologetically, trying to minimise any further damage): Oh! Grandparents are getting younger and younger these days!
Meanwhile mother sits looking somewhat bemused and grand-daughter is sweetly oblivious to the blundering health care professional. The rest of the encounter proceeds without incident.
End of scene
About two years ago I had an opposite and therefore more embarrassing experience. All newborn babies are examined within 48 hours of birth to check for any obvious problems including (for those of you who are interested) heart murmurs, cataracts and whether they have 10 fingers (or 8 fingers, 2 thunbs for the purists!) and 10 toes. I like to think that this is a good bonding session for the new parents and the baby so I normally ask extraneous relatives and friends to wait outside.
On this particular occasion those present in the room were the new mother (clues - female(!), lying on the bed and looking tired) who looked as if she was in her late teens, a female grandparent (clues - doing the fussing-around-the-new-mother routine and looking grandmother-ish) and a man whose relation to the situation I was not at all sure of. Available clues - he had grey hair, looked old enough to be the new mother's father but not very old. On the other hand he was standing next to the bed in the place usually occupied by 'proud new father.'
I had a decision to make. I started off in the usual way -introducing myself, explaining why I was there, asking after mother, commenting on cuteness of new baby and mumbled to the man something to the effect of, "You must be very proud of you grandson." When I say mumbled I mean only the syllable 'grand.' The rest of the sentence was very clear. I then asked grandmother and 'assumed grandfather' to leave and said I would call them back from the waiting room when I had finished.
During the baby check as the baby's mother and I were chatting she mentioning her partner and casually waved her arm towards the door through which, I suddenly realised, he had just left! I decided to stay quiet in the hope that my sentence had been heard as, "You must be very proud of your .... son" He probably still wonders to this day why he was not allowed to stay and probably has put it down a very old fashioned baby-checker ( which is not too far from the truth!)
In the course of reliving this somewhat painful memory I have been wondering whether I should just have asked the man, "And you are...?" but that would possibly have been equally awkward.
...the pitfalls of the job!
posted by hils @ 2:25 PM
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